Muslim Motherhood Blogs

The Manners of Welcoming the New-Born Child in Islaam

Source:  Troid.org
http://www.troid.org/sisters/children/the-manners-of-welcoming-the-new-born-child-in-islaam.html

Children are a source of delight and an adornment for the world granted by Allaah to their parents, they give vigour to the hearts, joy to the souls, pleasure to the eyes. They are the fruit from whom good is to be hoped for when they frequently supplicate:

"Our Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was small"

and they are the ones in every nation upon whom hope for the future lies, and they are the youth of tomorrow upon whose shoulders the call to Islaam is carried. Indeed Islaam has indeed elevated the status of children and has laid down manners for their treatment relating to all their affairs and each stage of their and from these are the manners for welcoming their arrival in this life.

Our Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) was a living example, educating, cultivating the Muslims upon the practices of Islaam, teaching them how to worship their Lord in the best of ways. But a number of Muslims have strayed from his pure teachings and have substituted that which is gold for that which worthless.

So here are the manners the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) taught us with regards our new-born.

Encouragement to have Children

Allaah says, "So now have sexual relations with them,, and seek that which Allaah has ordained for you."

And the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, "Marry the loving and fertile because through you, I will compete with the nations for superiority in numbers"(Abu Dawood)

And it is important that the Parents bring up their children upon righteousness, so that the Parents will benefit from them during their lives and after their death. Allaah's Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said,

"A servant will have his rank raised and will say, 'O my Lord how has this come about for me?' He says, 'through your sons after you seeking forgiveness for you'"(ibn Maajah)

Know that what has preceded applies equally to both boys and girls, and indeed Islaam has encouraged the bringing up of girls, and Allaah condemns those that are distressed at the birth of a girl, and the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) came elevating the status of this gift from Allaah,

"whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come together on the Day of Resurrection (like this) - and he interlaced his two fingers"(Muslim)

meaning in Paradise. So can their be a greater honour given to daughters?!

Giving the good news of the Birth

The near of kin who are anxiously waiting should be informed so that they can stop worrying and congratulate the parents and supplicate for the baby. Allaah mentions this good news being conveyed to a number of His Prophets, from them Zakariyyah of his son Yahya,

"Then the angels called him, while he was standing in prayer in a private room (saying), 'Allaah gives you glad tidings of Yahya'"

The Tahneek

This means to softening a date and then rubbing the palate of the new-born with it just after the birth or soon after. This is done by putting a piece of the softened date on the finger and rubbing it from left to right in the mouth of the baby.

Ibn Hajr said, "if one is not able to find a dry date, then a fresh date should be used, and if that is not available then anything sweet." (Fath 9/588)

It is not essential to chew the date rather it may be softened in any way. The action of chewing as reported in the sunnah was something specific to the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) due to the blessings that Allaah had placed in his saliva.

It is done by the father or the mother or anyone from the People of Knowledge whose supplication is hoped would be accepted. So he should perform tahneek and supplicate for the child as was the practice of the Companions.

Imaam Nawawee says, " scholars are agreed upon the recommendation of performing tahneek upon the baby after it's birth." (Sharh Saheeh Muslim 4/122)

Aaishah (ra) reports, "new-born children used to be brought to the Messenger of Allaah and he would supplicate for blessings for them, and rub a chewed date upon their palate." (Muslim)

Naming the child

The baby may be named on the day of it's birth or later on the seventh day or past the seventh day, as this is what is clear after study of all the evidences from the sunnah.

It is the father or the mother who chose the name for the baby. If they differ amongst themselves then it is the father who has the choice, he may name it himself or give his wife the right to choose. The fact that this is the right of the father is shown by the principle that the child is ascribed and attributed to the father, as Allaah says,

"Call them (adopted sons) by (the names of) their fathers, that is more just in the Sight of Allaah"

It is also allowed for the parents to allow others to name the child, since our Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) used to name some of the children of his Companions.

The name should carry a good and praiseworthy meaning as the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said,

"On the Day of Resurrection, you will be called by your names and your fathers names, so make your names good." (Abu Dawood)

It is recommended to call oneself a servant of Allaah (Abdullaah) or the servant of any of the names of Allaah. Then it is recommended to name a child after a prophet, due to the hadeeth,

"call yourselves by the names of the Prophets" (Abu Dawood)

and the hadeeth,

"a son was born to me this night and I called him after my forefather Ibraaheem" (Muslim)

Then it is recommended to name the child after any pious person in the hope that it will become like him/her. Then it is recommended to name by any name which has good meaning.

It is forbidden to name a child with a name that denote servitude to other than Allaah, for example Abd an-Nabi, Abd ar-Rasool etc, just as it is forbidden to name them with names that are particular to the Unbelievers like George, Michael, Susan etc.

The names of tyrants and evil personalities should be avoided such as Fir'awn, Qaroon, Abu Lahab etc.. Likewise it is disliked to name with the names of the Surahs of the Qur'aan like 'Taa Haa' or 'Yaa Seen' as is reported from Imaam Maalik and others. There is no authentic hadeeth which ascribes the above two as being names of the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam).

The Aqeeqah

After the seventh day of the arrival of the new-born, as a form of welcome for it and to give thanks to the One who gave the blessings, it is prescribed to slaughter a sheep. The Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said,

"Every child is in pledge for it's Aqeeqah which is sacrificed for it on its seventh day, and it is named on it, and its head is shaved" (Abu Dawood)

If the new-born is a boy then two sheep are to be sacrificed, and if it is a girl then one sheep. This is the position of the majority of the scholars and Companions. The Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said,

"for the boy two equal sheep, and for the girl, a single sheep." (Ibn Maajah)

So it is permissible to sacrifice the male or female sheep or goat, and this is best. As for sacrificing other animals then the scholars have differed over this.

The sacrifice should be done by the father or a close relative, for our Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) performed the Aqeeqah for his two grandsons. It is also obligatory to mention the name of Allaah over it while sacrificing, and if a close relative is performing the Aqeeqah then he should add, 'this aqeeqah is the Aqeeqah of so and so' mentioning the name of the person on whose behalf he is performing the aqeeqah, as is reported in the hadeeth related by al-Bayhaqee.

The meat of the sacrifice may be distributed cooked or uncooked,, but it is preferred that it should be cooked as this leads to greater blessing as mentioned by a group of the scholars.

Shaving the baby's head

On the seventh day after the birth the head of the baby should be shaved. So when al-Hasan was born the Prophet (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) told his daughter, Faatima (RA),

"shave his head and give the weight of his hair in silver to the poor" (Ahmad)

The right side of the head should be shaved first, then the left as mentioned in the hadeeth,

"shave, and he indicated to the right side of his head, and then the left" (Muslim)

It is not permissible to shave a part of the head and leave a part, as this was prohibited by the Messenger (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) as reported by al-Bukhaaree. The strongest view seems to be that the head of the boy or the girl should be shaved, as is reported that Faatimah weighed the hair of her daughter (Muwatta) but the scholars differ on this, and Allaah knows best.

The shaving should be done after the sacrifice, and our pious predecessors liked to rub some perfume over the baby's head after the shaving.

Then it is prescribed to give the value of the baby's weight of hair in silver in charity, and it is recommended to give this charity on the seventh day also, but it is not necessary to do so, and may be delayed.

Circumcision

It is prescribed that the boy be circumcised, it is recommended that the circumcision take place on the seventh day, but it is obligatory to circumcise before the boy reaches puberty.

 

 "Knowledge puts us on the straight path, righteous actions keep us on it."

 

A Mother's Advice to Her Daughter

‘Abd al-Malik (RA) said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umamah came into her, to advise her and said:

 
‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

 
‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

 
‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

 
‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

 
‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

 
‘The fifth and sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

 
‘The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

 
‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

 
‘Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

 
‘Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.


‘Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah choose what is best for you and protect you.”

 
Jamharah Khutah al-‘Arab, 1/145


"Knowledge puts us on the straight path, righteous actions keep us on it."

Health Tips For Ramadan

Nov. 3 -- This article provides useful tips on how to avoid some common problems encountered in Ramadan. If followed, it would enable one to fast comfortably and enjoy fully the spiritual benefits of Ramadan. During the holy month of Ramadan, our diet should not differ very much from our normal diet and should be as simple as possible. The diet should be such that we maintain our normal weight, neither losing nor gaining. However, if one is over-weight, Ramadan is an ideal time to normalise one's weight.

Consume Slow Digesting Foods

In view of the long hours of fasting, we should consume slow digesting foods including fibre containing-foods rather than fast-digesting foods. Slow digesting foods last up to 8 hours, while fast-digesting foods last for only 3 to 4 hours.

Slow-digesting foods are foods that contain grains and seeds like barley, wheat, oats, millet, semolina, beans, lentils, wholemeal flour, unpolished rice, etc. (called complex carbohydrates) . Fast-burning foods are foods that contain sugar, white flour, etc. (called refined carbohydrates) .

Fibre-containing foods are bran-containing foods, whole wheat, grains and seeds, vegetables like green beans, peas, sem (papry), marrow, mealies, spinach, and other herbs like methie, the leaves of beetroot (iron-rich), fruit with skin, dried fruit especially dried apricots, figs and prunes, almonds, etc..

The foods eaten should be well balanced, containing foods from each food group, i.e. fruits, vegetables, meat/chicken/ fish, bread/cereals and dairy products. Fried foods are unhealthy and should be limited. They cause indigestion, heartburn, and weight problems.

AVOID
*Fried and fatty foods.
*Foods containing too much sugar.
*Over-eating especially at sehri.
*Too much tea at sehri. Tea makes you pass more urine taking with it valuable mineral salts that your body would need during the day.
*Smoking cigarettes.  Smoking is unhealthy and one should stop completely.

EAT
Eat complex carbohydrates at sehri so that the food lasts longer making you less hungry.
Haleem is an excellent source of protein and is a slow-burning food. Dates are excellent source of sugar, fibre, carbohydrates, potassium and magnesium. Almonds are rich in protein and fibre with less fat. Bananas are a good source of potassium, magnesium and carbohydrates.

DRINK
As much water or fruit juices as possible between iftar and bedtime so that your body may adjust fluid levels in time.

CONSTIPATION
Constipation can cause piles (haemorroids) , fissures and indigestion with a bloated feeling.

Causes: Too much refined foods, too little water and not enough fibre in the diet.

Remedy: Avoid excessive refined foods, increase water intake, and use bran in baking, brown flour when making roti.

LETHARGY ('low blood pressure')
Excessive sweating, weakness, tiredness, lack of energy, dizziness, especially on getting up from sitting position, pale appearance and feeling faint are symptoms associated with "low blood pressure". This tends to occur towards the afternoon.

Causes: Too little fluid intake, decreased salt intake.
Remedy: Keep cool, increase fluid and salt intake.
Caution: Low blood pressure should be confirmed by taking a blood pressure reading when symptoms are present. Persons with high blood pressure may need their medication adjusted during Ramadan. They should consult their doctor.

HEADACHE
Causes: Caffeine and tobacco-withdrawal, doing too much in one day, lack of sleep, hunger usually occurs as the day goes by and worsens at the end of the day. When associated with "low blood pressure", the headache can be quite severe and can also cause nausea before Iftar.
Remedy: Cut down caffeine and tobacco slowly starting a week or two before Ramadan. Herbal and caffeine-free teas may be substituted. Reorganise your schedule during the Ramadan so as to have adequate sleep.

LOW BLOOD SUGAR
Weakness, dizziness, tiredness, poor concentration, perspiring easily, feeling shaky (tremor), unable to perform physical activities, headache, palpitations are symptoms of low blood sugar.
Causes in non-diabetics: Having too much sugar (i.e. refined carbohydrates especially at suhur (sehri)). The body produces too much insulin causing the blood glucose to drop.
Remedy: Eat something at sehri and limit sugar-containing foods and drinks.
Caution: Diabetics may need to adjust their medication in Ramadan, consult your doctor.

MUSCLE CRAMPS
Causes: Inadequate intake of calcium, magnesium and potassium foods.
Remedy: Eat foods rich in the above minerals (e.g. vegetables, fruit, dairy products, meat and dates).
Caution: Those on high blood pressure medication and with kidney stone problems should consult their doctor.

PEPTIC ULCERS, HEART BURN, GASTRITIS AND HIATUS HERNIA
Increased acid levels in the empty stomach in Ramadan aggravate the above conditions. It presents itself as a burning feeling in the stomach area under the ribs and can extend up to the throat. Spicy foods, coffee, and Cola drinks worsen these conditions.
Medications are available to control acid levels in the stomach. People with proven peptic ulcers and hiatus hernia should consult their doctor well before Ramadan.

KIDNEY STONES
Kidney stones may occur in people who have less liquid to drink. Therefore, it is essential to drink extra liquids so as to prevent stone formation.

JOINT PAINS
Causes: During Ramadan, when extra salah are performed the pressure on the knee joints increases. In the elderly and those with arthritis this may result in pain, stiffness, swelling and discomfort.
Remedy: Lose weight so that the knees do not have to carry any extra load. Exercise the lower limbs before Ramadan so that they can be prepared for the additional strain. Being physically fit allows greater fulfillment, thus enabling one to be able to perform salah with ease.
You should always consult with your own personal doctor or healthcare provider for appropriate advice concerning your specific health needs and care during Ramadan.

The Inner Secrets of Fasting
By Imaam Ibn Qudaamah Al-Maqdisee (d.529H)
Translated By Ismael Ibn Al-Arkaam


Know, that in the fast ( Sawm ) is a special quality that is not found in anything else. And that is its close connection to Allaah, such that He says:

‘‘The Fast ( Sawm ) is for Me and I will reward it.'' [2]
This connection is enough to show the high status of fasting. Similarly, the Ka'bah is highly dignified due to its close connection to Him, as occurs in His statement:

‘‘And sanctify My House.'' [3]

Indeed, the fast is only virtuous due to two significant concepts:

THE FIRST: It is a secret and hidden action, thus, no one from the creation is able to see it Therefore riyaa‘ (showing off) cannot enter into it.

THE SECOND: It is a means of subjugating the enemies of Allaah. This is because the road that the enemies (of Allaah) embark upon (in order to misguide the Son of Aadam) is that of desires. And eating and drinking strengthens the desires. There are many reports that indicate the merits of fasting, and they are well known

THE RECOMMENDED ACTS OF FASTING:

The pre-dawn meal ( suhoor ) and delaying in taking it are preferable, as well as hastening to break the fast and doing so with dates. Generosity in giving is also recommended during Ramadhaan, as well as doing good deeds and increasing in charity. This is in accordance with the way of the Messenger of Allaah. It is also recommended to study the Qur‘aan and perform I‘tikaaf (seclusion for worship) during Ramadhaan , especially in its last ten days, as well as increasing upon the exertion (towards doing good deeds) in it. In the two Saheehs , 'Aa‘ishah said: ‘‘When the last ten days (of Ramadhaan ) would come, the Prophet would tighten his waist wrapper ( izaar )'' [4] The scholars have mentioned two views concerning the meaning of ‘tighten his wrapper ( izaar )' The first is that it means the turning away from women. The second is that it is an expression denoting his eagerness and diligence in doing good deed. They also say that the reason for: the last ten days of Ramadhaan was due to his seeking of the Night of al-Qadr ( Laylatul-Qadr ).

AN EXPLANATION OF THE INNER SECRETS OF FASTING AND ITS CHARACTERISITCS:
There are three levels of fasting, the general fast, the specific fast and the more specific fast. As for the general fast, then it is the refraining of ones stomach and their private parts from fulfilling their desires. The specific fast is the refraining of ones gaze, tongue, hands, feet, hearing and eyes, as well as the rest of his body parts from committing sinful acts. As for the more specific fast, then it is the heart's abstention from its yearning after the worldly affairs and the thoughts which distance one away from Allaah, as well as its (the heart's) abstention. From all the things that Allaah has placed on the same level. [5] From the characteristics of the specific fast is that one lowers his gaze and safeguards his tongue from the repulsive speech that is forbidden, disliked, or which has no benefit, as well as controlling the rest of his body parts. . In a hadeeth by al-Bukhaaree: ‘‘Whosoever does not abandon false speech and the acting upon it, Allaah is not in need off his food and drink.'' [6]

Another characteristic of the specific fast is that one does not overfill himself with food during the night. Instead, he eats in due measure, for indeed, the son of Aadam does not fill a vessel more evil than his stomach. If he were to eat his fill during the first part of the night, he would not make good use of himself for the remainder of the night. In the same way, if he eats to his fill for suhoor , he does make good use of himself until the afternoon. This is because excessive eating breads laziness and lethargy therefore, the objective of fasting disappears due to one's excessiveness in eating, for what is indeed intended by the fast, is that one savours the taste of hunger and becomes an abandoner of desires.

RECOMMENDED FASTS:
As for the recommended fasts, then know that preference for fasting is established in certain virtuous days. Some of these virtuous days happen every year, such as fasting the first six days of Shawwaal after Ramadhaan , fasting the day of 'Arafah , the day of 'Ashooraa , and the ten days of Dhul-Hijjah and Muharram . Some of them occur every month, such as the first part of the month, the middle part of it, and the last part of it. So whoever fasts the first part of it, the middle part of it and the last part of it, then he has done well. Some fasts occur every week, and they are every Monday and Thursday. The most virtuous of the recommended fasts is the fast of Daawood. He would fast one day and break his fast the next day. This achieves the following three objectives, the soul is given its share on the day the fast is broken. And on the day of fasting, it completes its share in full. The day of eating is the day of giving thanks and the day of fasting is the day of having patience. And Faith (eemaan) is divided into two halves- that of thankfulness and that of patience. [7] It is the most difficult struggle for the soul. This is because every time the soul gets accustomed to a certain condition, it transfers itself that. As for fasting every day, then it has been reported by Muslim, from the hadeeth of Aboo Qataadah that 'Umar ( radiyallaahu 'anhu ) asked the Prophet ( sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam ): What is the case if one were to fast everyday? So he ( sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam ) said: ‘‘He did not fast nor did he break his fast or, he did not fast and he did not break his fast.'' [8] This is concerning the one who fasts continuously, even during the days in which fasting is forbidden.

CHARACTERISITCS OF THE MORE SPECIFIC FASTS:
Know that the one who has been given intellect, knows the objective behind fasting. Therefore, he burdens himself to the extent that he will not be unable to do that which is more beneficial than it. Ibn Mas'ood would fast very little and it is reported that he used to say: ‘‘When I fast, I grow weak in my prayer. And I prefer the prayer over the (optional) fast.'' Some of the Companions would weaken in their recitation of the Qur‘aan when fasting. Thus, they would exceed in breaking their fast (i.e.. by observing less optional fasts), until they were able to balance their recitation. Every individual is knowledgeable of his condition and of what will rectify it.

Footnotes:

[1] This article is taken from the book Mukhtasar Minhaajul-Qaasideen (p. 38-41) of the illustrious scholar and righteous Imaam, Ibn Qudaamah al-Maqdisee (d.529H). This article was translated by Isma'eel Ibn al-Arkaan and edited by Abu Khaliyl. There were also slight adaptions made to it, such as the exclusion of a couple of statements.

[2] Related by al-Bukhaaree (4/118) and Muslim (no. 1151).

[3] Sooratul-Hajj: 26

[4] Related by al-Bukhaaree (4/322) and Muslim (no. 1147).

[5] (Editors note: Additional comment is required here, The levels mentioned are levels of abstinence. The first of these three levels entails the abstinence which is fulfilled, the fast is considered complete in view of the one having met the legislated requirements [i.e. It does not have to be repeated or made up, the servant has indeed fasted.] The remaining levels deal with the value of the Fast. If the second is level is not met, the fast will be of less value to the servant, than if it were met and likewise for the third. Thus it is said that intentional eating and intercourse render the fast null and void, whereas committing other unlawful acts such, likes speaking falsely, placing the unlawful look to the opposite sex. And so on will constitute a sin of one degree or another, but not nullify the fast.

[6] Related by al-Bukhaaree (4/99)

[7] {Editors note: This statement is based upon an unauthentic Hadeeth , which has been reported by al-Kharaa‘itee and ad-Daylamee. One of its narrators was graded ‘‘abandoned'' by an-Nisaa‘ee and adh-Dhahabee. Al-Manawee and al-Albaanee approved of its grading. See ad-Da'eefah (no. 625).

[8] Related by Muslim

 

 

Barakallahu Feeki

UmmKutubah Samia Al'Garland

Roosevelt Island, NY

 

Ibn Taymiyyah said,

"Verily, I constantly renew my Islam until this very day, as up to now, I do not consider myself to have ever been a good Muslim."

[Narrated by Ibn al-Qayyim in 'Madaarij as-Saalikin' ; 1/218]

As salamaou alikum sister My name is Ummismail(Aaisha) and I'm from Greenville Sc, This Group is very nice and I hope TO learn alot from my sisters Here insha allah.

I have one son His name is Ismail  ibn Muhammad Issa and  he is 15 months old Being a first time Mother as beena Whirl wind of Surprises but i'm Loving every minute Of it Alhamdouliliah. He is growing so fast , I seem to be missing the little things. But I will not miss the messing in everything under the Sun lol.

 

Ummismail